Energy Vampires Drain our Energy as Empaths. That’s the common belief in the Empath community. I’m noticing this phrase, Energy Vampire, increase in use in the news, in books, and on social media.
Let’s take a look at what the definition of an Energy Vampire is.
Dictionary.com refers to an Energy Vampire as a noun meaning. “the electric power consumed by electronic appliances while they are switched off or in a standby mode; also called standby power, [ phantom load ] A very common energy vampire is a power adapter which has no power-off switch.”
I didn’t expect to find that definition when I looked up an Energy Empath. That doesn’t even refer to a person, but an appliance. So I looked further.
The definition by Urban Dictionary states: “A person who boosts his/her own energy by taking energy from others by means of an argument, belittlement, criticism or other one-sided conversation.”
This definition is what I believe most people using the term Energy Empath refer to.
I can understand where the term Energy Vampire comes from. It’s catchy, strong, and sums up the process of one sensitive person feeling drained by someone else in only 2 succinct words.
I do agree that people with certain attributes can feel draining to others, especially we Empaths who feel more deeply, see more details, and intuit more as we go through each day. This ability to do so much more can be draining in and of itself, even when we’re not with an Energy Vampire.
I don’t like the term Energy Vampire for a few reasons. It’s very negative. It’s blaming of others - that somehow they suck or steal energy from us without our permission - like an attack. And most of the advice is to run in the other direction from them, especially if you’re an Empath. That often doesn’t work because we wouldn’t even be around them if we truly had a choice. Often it’s a family member, relative, co-worker or another person in a position of authority or importance in our lives.
I’d like to refer to another that feels draining to us as an Energy Sponge. I believe they are Sponges because they challenge us to set better boundaries, communicate more clearly, and stand up for our sensitive selves. Without the strong effects of an Energy Sponge, many of us would not develop systems that keep us strong and balanced.
There are several types of Energy Sponges that I have encountered. I’ll share what I’ve noticed, and then we’ll look at learning opportunities for dealing with them.
But here’s the thing. No one can change someone else. We may have to work with this person. We may chose to see her or him over the holidays because she or he is with others we want to spend time with. They may be a neighbor, colleague, or friend of our partner or spouse. We may want so badly to say this or show them that so that they will see what they’ll doing and want to change so that we’ll feel better. Yet most people won’t do that. People may change, but it’s because they want to when they see a need and a benefit.
Here’s the rub. We as Empaths are responsible for changing ourselves. If we are feeling drained by other people, no matter what label we attach to their personality, than we are out of balance. That is what we need to focus on energies on so that we don’t leave work, a party, or any outing feeling totally depleted and depressed. We need to get to a place where we can walk through the world and stay in tact and balanced no matter who we encounter.
I’ve always lived by the rule that if I want someone else to change, I need to change myself. Because when I change, the person I am relating too must somehow change - even if it’s just to leave because being around the new me doesn't feel comfortable anymore.
So how can you become more balanced as an Empath so that you don’t feel drained when you are around unbalanced people?
There are a couple of must-reads that I use for reference.
So let's BUST Mammoth Myth #2. ENERGY VAMPIRES ARE NOT OUT TO GET US. They need our compassion, and we can practice staying balanced and centered while we are with them.
B U S T E D !
(say this 1,000 time while looking in the mirror):
"I completely embrace myself as an Empath.
I easily and effortless set limits so I stay balanced.
I learn how to be with people and places and stay rested, strong and balanced.
I love me."
Stay tuned next week for the blog on Mammoth Myth #3: Empaths Attract Narcissists ...
Transform Your Wellness;
Personalized Strategies for Sensitive People