I am dedicating this blog to our beloved Louise L. Hay, whom I "met" in the late 1980's. She planted a seed in me that changed the direction of my life. 

Today is one year from her passing at the age of 90. She became a dear "bedside" friend when I started using her affirmations and meditations in the evening. I read her books and the books of other authors at Hay House Publishing, attended her "I Can Do It" events, and certified as a Heal Your Life Workshop Leader and Coach in San Diego in 2014. I met Louise Hay in person there; and I worked with the same health coach she used, Heather Dane, 21st Century Medicine Woman.  This work has changed my life in more way than I can mention in this blog. I have met a fabulous tribe on the forefront of new thinking and ways of living.  And as a sensitive and intuitive person, I have dedicated myself to an energy clearing practice through Jean Haner, which has been the icing on the cake in healing my life. 

So back to that seed. As I created my life in the San Francisco Bay Area in the late 1980's, I experienced various symptoms. Just coming out of graduate school and moving to the Bay Area to start a job as a buyer for a major household products company, I had my emotional work cut out for me. To fortify myself in this journey, I explored spiritual centers and activities. 

Searching for blog topics is never easy. Sometimes I have information spilling out of my mind that I can't wait to share. Other weeks, it's like the creative well dries up, and nothing is coming. This week is one of those weeks.

So I went to my Louise Hay affirmation calendar from last year. I save the calendars to use as note paper, and to send inside packages as love notes, so I always have plenty on hand.

I took a deep breath, pounded on the stack of affirmations in my hands to infuse my energy into them, and asked for the message I most needed to hear today. I closed my eyes and shuffled through the deck until I got to a page that felt right. I pulled it out of the glue binding.

This is what it said: 
"I am wiling to hold my own hand and work through any fears I may have."

I have spent many times in my life having to work through my fear and anxiety. In fact, in Chinese medicine, I came to the planet with a major challenge of anxiety. I have had lots of it from as early as I can remember. I even went so far to have panic attacks in my early 20's. It's been difficult, as you might well imagine, and I have learned so much in learning to hold my own hand to work through this anxiety.

Early on, I tried mainstream medical and took Xanax for several years while I was in my early 20's and combined it with in therapy. Therapy became an excellent tool for me to process and let off stress. Xanax - although it helped me through a rough spell, the withdrawals from that addictive drug were incredible.

Here's how it went. As I house sat some pets in a beautiful Bethesda, Maryland home, I noticed I had swollen glands near my throat. Other than that, I felt fine. Yet after a week of these painfully swollen glands, I knew I was wrestling an infection. My doctor confirmed it - I had strep throat. No fever. No sore throat. Just swollen glands. So he recommended antibiotics.

Since I am a physically sensitive empath, I hated combining prescriptions because I didn't like the side effects of one much less a combination. So I asked him if I could stop the Xanax. He said that he thought that would be fine. 

So I stopped. Suddenly. I thought nothing of it. Yet I went through several weeks of severe withdrawal symptoms like I had never experienced. The first night I felt so nauseous, I went to sleep before the sun went down.  This was highly unusual for me. The next week, I couldn't feel my legs. They felt numb. Walking on numb legs was interesting. As that resolved, I couldn't feel my arms and hands. I could move them and grab things, but I couldn't feel my actions. 

I trudged back to my doctor, who told me that I was experiencing the withdrawal from the drug. He said that I could start taking it again and taper. I had gone a few weeks off the drug, so he said I could also work through the symptoms without it. Up to me. So I decided to stay away from the drug. 

This was a wise choice for me to learn to manage my anxiety in healthier ways.

My anxiety work has not been in isolation. I have worked with others - therapists, wellness coaches, biofeedback professionals, energy workers, personal trainers - to learn how to develop a protocol for myself to keep my anxiety at a healthy level. 

MY PROTOCOL
Here is what I have learned to keep my anxiety in check. In essence, these are the ways I hold my own hand:

• Calming techniques I learned through biofeedback, including meditation, yoga, breathing, letting go, massage, and managing my mental chatter
• Taking supplements of GABA, nature's valium, and magnesium, a calming mineral that is an ambassador of our cells and regulates/calms our entire system
• Exercising with exertion regularly to release any stress
• Spending time with friends
• Being in nature - slowing life down
• Saying positive affirmations routinely
• Using supportive self-statements when I am experiencing high anxiety (For example, telling myself I am out of balance and asking myself what I need to do in the moment to feel more grounded and secure.)
• Eating foods that are grounding and healthy
• Receiving an energy clearing or giving one

 I pay attention when I feel anxious for my intuition has something to say. I am thankful that I have learned to listen to my anxiety and take care of it. It keeps me safe, centered, and balanced.

How do you hold your own hand?

"Autoimmune."

This word entered my life this year. What a funny word! When I hear that word, I don’t get any image in my head of something. It's more like "What the heck is that?"

To put it simply, our body's autoimmune response is a system of protection. When a virus enters our body, that system goes to work to get rid of it and bring us back to healthy balance. However, if our immune system gets confused through poor nutrition and lifestyle choices, hidden infections, or stressful events/habits, that autoimmune system goes haywire, and starts trying to protect us from ourselves. We wind up with symptoms of aches and pains, sometimes debilitating us. The symptoms may come and go, and it can be hard to know what's happening.

Sometimes we think the symptoms are actually not symptoms. We wake up sore day after day and it clears up as the day goes on. Or we go to sleep and feel better the next morning. It's not easy to know when our immune system is going haywire - yet our body knows.

MY STORY.
I’m a part-time cashier at a U.S. nationwide natural grocery store. I had been working there six months before my mom passed away unexpectedly. Cashiering shifts are often 8 hours three times a week. They start at varying times, and can sometimes go for 5 to 6 hours.

The repetitive motion of scanning items down the belt and handing heavy items to customers started causing me pain. I would come home at the end of my shift, sit down to put my feet up and relax with my husband, and within an hour, my wrists would be painfully swollen, my hands and fingers would be hard to move, and my arms and shoulders would hurt to move them. I had never experienced debilitating symptoms like that before. It felt scary! The pain would often disturb a restful sleep, yet by the next day, I often felt better. 

As this continued to happen and worsen over a period of a couple months, I became more alarmed. What was happening to me? I continued to do my workouts when I could, going to the gym to do my push-ups, pull-ups, squats, planks and leg weights. The next thing I knew, I couldn't raise my biceps for a few days because I had injured myself after working all day and doing push-ups. I had been doing these exercises regularly before I took the job; I felt shocked and dismayed that I injured myself. I identified that I had symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis symptoms; I knew I could turn them off.

I needed to find a way to heal. I had a very good idea of what was happening based on my symptoms, so I chose not to go to a doctor to have them run tests and give me solutions I didn't want to do. Instead I tried a holistic approach to see how to better support my body - physically and emotionally.  I let my symptoms be my guide.

I've been addressing the symptoms from an emotional perspective; I know that the physical and emotional body are one. Our beliefs are enormous influencers in our health. According to Louise Hay's team, rheumatoid arthritis can manifest as a result of feeling victimized, a lack of love, chronic bitterness, resentment. Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon. I began to look how these attitudes might be tucked away deep inside of me. 

Physically, I know that mineral baths heal swelling and pain, so I started taking them. Unfortunately, the heat from the baths made my swelling worse. I used ice to quell the swelling as I didn't want to take anti-inflammatories; I didn't want to over-ride my natural anti-inflammatory system, and I didn't want to further stress my gut with these irritants. I also massaged my painful areas with Arnica cream and magnesium lotion.  These solutions helped quite a bit.

I know as a sensitive person I feel and sense energies more deeply, so that foods - a type of energy - can affect me deeply too. Leaky gut is always seen with autoimmune issues, so I had to work on healing my tummy.  I had gotten off-track with my healthy eating, consuming sugary treats and comfort foods with gluten. I had been consuming wine and coffee more often.  I began to work on cleaning up my nutrition.

I modified my cashiering work to eliminate the repetitive stress by picking up other duties in the store. 

As a Primal Health Coach; I had heard about The Autoimmune Protocol by Dr. Sarah Ballatyne. As I began exploring her research, I discovered the elimination diet. It's a very rigorous plan, eliminating all foods that are known to excite the immune system. 

So far, I've worked my way up to 95% compliant. The big hold-out for me has been letting go of my beloved coffee. And even with not finding perfection yet, I have learned a lot. 

There are 2 items I've given up completely that have reduced my symptoms significantly.

CASHEWS
As I perused the AIP book one evening, I came across this statement: 

Buried in Chapter 8 under a heading "A Case Against Mangoes," my intuitive brain honed in. I recalled how, as an east coast teenager, I missed a rare movie outing with friends because my eyes were swollen shut from poison ivy. For months now, I had been eating cashews with my organic grass-fed yogurt as a "healthy" snack on work breaks. I chose this snack, not only because it tastes good to me, but also because it's "fast." I realized it was time I slowed down with all eating, even snacks.

PUFA'S
Next I turned my attention to unhealthy Poly-Unsaturated Fatty Acid (PUFA) oils as they are highly inflammatory for the body.  Although I home-cook with healthy oils (unrefined olive, avocado and coconut oils), I hadn't been paying attention to hot bar and restaurant foods. As I eliminated the PUFA's, I discovered what I could eat became a lot more limited as so many places use these cheaper oils.  My body reacts like kindling for a fire when I ingest these PUFAs. 

Although I am still on my discovery journey, I have learned so much and experienced success. I am no longer having the debilitating pain and swelling, and I am back to doing my push-ups and pull-ups again. I can sit down with my husband after work and feel good.

Autoimmune issues are tough. They happen differently for each person, and it can be tricky to figure out what is over-exciting your body. Research also tells us that autoimmune spreads and gets worse if it's ignored.

Is the Autoimmune Protocol right for you? If yes, I can empower you to find that secret sauce to turn off those genes. We'll come up with a unique program to take you on your healing journey.