​"Lift heavy things a couple of times a week." 

This sentence was the first and only sentence that I crafted for a November 2018 blog. 

I was going to discuss the Primal Program, and how one of the main longevity components is to lift heavy things at least a couple times a week to keep healthy, fit, and functional throughout your long life. Heavy things like weights at a gym, or doing household chores around the house. This blog would have followed the Get Off Your Butt and Move blog, which I find completely hysterical now.

Because, as life would have it, the heavy things that I needed to lift this year completely shifted. In my Chinese year of change (I'm a 7.9.3 in a 4-Year for those of you that follow Nine Star Ki), I've had to learn to live heavy things emotionally as well.

After my severe and unexpected wrist break and reset in November which happened while walking on a sidewalk in a neighborhood shopping center, I began a year-long healing process. I am half-way through. I can dress myself, use the toilet, write, type on the computer, and I am close to doing my full push-ups again, which I was doing regularly before I fell. 

My robust and diverse healing program has worked well for me and I'd recommend anyone who is facing a tough physical challenge to adopt the supportive elements in my program that make sense to you.

In the meantime, I have risen to the challenges my 4-year presents:

• I am now the Chief Financial Operations Officer at our family business, Gordon Reese Design Build. I am learning the deep innards of the accounting books, understanding Profit & Loss, Balance Sheets, and payroll. I am putting robust systems in place to keep business in order.
• I left my cashier-maintenance position at Whole Foods. I wasn't getting the opportunities I needed to grow my next career in wellness coaching. The repetitive stress from the routine movements of the job were a challenge for my autoimmune gene so that I wouldn't turn on my rheumatoid arthritis. 
• I am writing a book for Empaths.
  • One of my karmic challenges in this lifetime is to get my voice out into the world. I've wanted to publish a book for a long time. I tried for several years to write and publish children's picture books and could not break into that market. I have published chapters in several works, but nothing on my own. So the time has come.
  • I am writing a book to empower Empaths to take charge of their wellness and to walk through life content and with balanced energy. We Empaths are a special breed. Our sensitivities provide us with a lot of information physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  All of the energy and stimulation around us - unlike our ancestors who didn't have WIFI, TV, computers, electronic gadgets, light bulbs, electric cars, etc. - we need a robust system of care to keep us balanced. I have spent much of my life creating a system of balance and support, and I want to help you do that too.
  • I will self-publish the book later this year, so stay tuned.
• In the meantime, I will publish blogs sporadically. 
• I will continue to be intimately involved in Primal coaching and wellness services.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or would like to talk about wellness. 

It was 5:30 pm on a Tuesday evening. After a long day that started early, I had finished what I needed to do at our design-build business that I run with my husband. He had invited me to join him at a new shopping center restaurant near our office to have a paleo burger. The rain had been plentiful that day, unusual for California, and it had stopped for the moment. 

As we walked side-by-side and chatted, I slipped and fell on the slick, new cement. It felt more like I hydroplaned as I lost both feet from under me, flipped around and landed on my right arm. Stunned, I got up right away, saying "I'm okay." Until I looked at my right arm. It looked deformed. And it hurt like hell. I had to hold it with my left arm as we walked for help.

We headed to the shopping center clinic and through a series of events and x-rays, I ended up in the emergency room at John Muir Hospital to have my wrist put back into place. I broke both wrist bones in the fall - my radius and ulna. They had shifted to the left and had to be moved back into place. That 6 hour ordeal ended well enough, as I didn't need surgery and my wrist went back to where it belonged.  

As a sensitive person and a Wellness Coach, I knew I had to amp up my self-care to meet this tragedy. During the painful resetting of my wrist, I practiced my heart breathing. My blood pressure was sky-high (of course), but breathing in and out to the count of 5 kept all my other vitals in check.

I mentioned to the ER doctor that I am sensitive and react to medication easily so I don't need as much as a "typical" person (if there is such a thing!) He was fabulous - he worked with the nurses and specialists to minimize the doses I received, and gave me a protocol for home that worked for me. I'd had experiences in the past that doctors would look at me sideways when I mentioned my sensitivity. I appreciated being respected and supported.

When I got home that night, I couldn't rotate my wrist at all; I couldn't push a button with my right index finger. I had to get help dressing and undressing. Everything had changed in an instant for me. In Chinese medicine, I was entering a year of change that people often describe as "everything is so up in the air!" or "I feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me." Those descriptions both fit how I felt. 

As a part-time cashier at Whole Foods, I couldn't work. As a blogger and author, I couldn't type and writing with my left, non-dominant hand looked like I had just started kindergarten. My healing journey had begun - doctor's visits, x-rays and physical therapy.

I knew the importance of supporting my body well through this trauma.

I got to work:

• Worked on not scaring myself, which I am a natural at!
• Took a positive mental approach
  • I couldn't do 95% of what I could do on Monday - so disappointing
  • I chose humor, being positive and non-blaming - everything happens for a spiritual reason and although I couldn't see why - yet, if I took the focus off my healing to blame others, that wouldn't move me forward
  • I developed specific daily affirmations that supported healing
  • I paid close attention to my moment-to-moment self-talk to keep it positive and loving
• Listened to my intuition about how to care for my body, and followed it
  • If I needed heat therapy for my arm, yet the "experts" recommended ice packs, I did the heat
• Amped up my nutrition
  • ​Increased my daily amount of Vital Proteins grass-fed collagen peptides to 2 scoops per day - religiously
  • Made homemade bone broth (my husband had to do it because I couldn't cook) which I had 2 cups a day daily - religiously
  • Ate a banana a day
    • I had experienced physical shock (slurred speech, shaking, high blood pressure) during my ordeal
    • I began having foot cramps for a few days after ER
    • I know this can be related to low minerals, like potassium
    • The bananas made a big difference - no foot cramps the days I ate a banana
  • Increased my supplements
    • ​Magnesium with meals
    • Sprayed magnesium oil on my hand throughout the day to manage the pain
    • Increased fish oil and turmeric to aid with inflammation
    • Drank my adrenal cocktail (filtered water, 1/2 fresh lemon squeezed, 1 tsp 40,000 volts electrolytes and 1/4 tsp GABA powder) to aid sleep
• Did my physical therapy religiously (the upbringing in my Catholic religion has served me well when it comes to doing things religiously)​

I continue to practice gratitude daily. I'm thankful that:

1. The break wasn't worse; I didn't need surgeries
2. My arm had gone back into place; thank you arm
3. I had a great experience with my ER team; we even talked about how powerful the mind is with healing
4. My husband loves to cook and took good care of me, doing everything for me until I could start again
5. My arm responded well to my care and I am healing faster than normal
6. My daughter stepped in to help with daily tasks (even dressing)
7. I could go to Amazon and, one finger at a time, order easy pull-on bras, pants and tops
8. I could go to a doctor and get fixed
9. I had a team of physical therapists to teach me how to get my movement back

This would be a good blog to ready standing up or walking. Because it's all about getting off your butt and moving each day. This key Primal principle; we are meant to move frequently tending to things like our ancestors did.

They spent their days gathering food, hauling water, making and moving camp, avoiding predators, and moving.

This is different than sitting all day in an office, and running to the gym for an intense workout. The intense work-outs can be good for you if they're not chronic, and if you stay within a healthy heart rate range for your body. Back to moving daily.

I've read that sitting is the new smoking in terms of how it affects your health. Sitting too long is detrimental to your health, even if you're hitting the gym regularly.

So what do we do to keep moving when our lives demand us to be sedentary. Here are several ideas:

• Park at the end of the parking lot when you go shopping and walk in
• Take the stairs as often as you can
• Use a standing desk at work and stretch at least 10 minutes every hour
• Walk to lunch, and walk around the block during your 10 minute breaks
• ​Follow your child through the play structure after work instead of sitting and watching
• Take a long walk when you're feeling physically out of whacked and stressed
• Run across the street to get out of the crosswalk as it changes
• Walk around the mall, airport, bus terminal, car lot, shopping center when you're waiting for something
• Walk and move while you're talking on the phone
• Go to the TV to change the channel instead of using the remote
• Have walking meetings with colleagues
• Initiate a 10-minute stretch break in your office with your co-workers
• Take a quick break to do qi gong, pushups, squats or planks
• Walk quickly to hold open the door for someone

It's important to be mindful about your health as you go through your day. Check in with your body and see how it's feeling and what needs tending to. Remember to breathe deeply as we can clench up and minimize breathing when we are super focused or stressed about work.

How many creative ways can you find to bring movement into your day?

If you don't give a damn about yourself, you won't be healthy. You'll make choices that don't support you. It's important to do a deep dive into your psyche and soul to really see if you're accepting all of yourself. Because only then will you truly be able to support yourself.

For most of my life, I have wanted to be a different person than I am. As a child, I had been criticized for being too sensitive, and it caused my parents a lot of anxiety and frustration.

It caused me tons of anxiety in many areas of my life. I often couldn't sleep well if I had certain foods - like caffeine, chocolate, and sugar - or had experienced intense emotional situations. When my parents argued, I would sit at the top of the stairway in our childhood home stairway listen carefully, praying that they would both be okay. I could feel the emotions of others, like when my dad drank, and I would lay awake listening to his every move downstairs as I worried about him.

These intense experiences as a highly sensitive child left me wishing that I wasn't who I was. I hated that part of myself. It just caused me sleepless nights and over-stimulated my sensitive system. 

I spent many years feeling this way. All of the therapy, anxiety management, coaching, meditations, exercise, lifestyle adjustments, and affirmations helped tremendously, but didn't heal this core issue deep inside my psyche and soul. I wasn't taking a positive approach. I would get so frustrated and discouraged at the constant challenges that I would sabotage myself by eating poorly, drinking too much, not getting enough rest, being down on myself, and taking a very negative approach.

In the last several years, I have begun to learn to take a positive approach to these highly sensitive qualities. I see that my sensitivity provides me with lots of information that others don't see. It has given me the ability to study and do personal and space energy clearing work for myself and others that has kept me balanced and enabled me to walk through my life feeling grounded and whole. 

In short, these are the key things I do to show that I value myself at my core:

• Get plenty of rest
• Mineralize my water so that I stay hydrated effectively
• Practice specific affirmations to promote self-love
• Look in the mirror when I pass one (thanks Louise Hay!) to say "I love you. I completely love you"
• Eat Paleo so I am getting plenty of vegetables, fruits and wholesome proteins, avoiding sugar, flours, and toxic oils which overstimulate my body
• Supplement myself with nutrients that my daily food doesn't adequately provide for me
• Live Primally so I'm supporting my physical body optimally through exercise, nature, sun, play, lots of daily movement, and all things Primal
• Talk to myself in positive ways by turning the limiting beliefs around
• Visit my tribes often - one set of friends who are Primal Paleo, another set of friends that practice energy work

In short, I truly give a damn about my health now on a deeper level than I ever have before. I am willing to keep learning from my own sensitivities and intuition when I make choices, and I am willing to say no to foods that don't work for my body, even if those around me are chomping away and making comments. 

I'm a Highly Sensitive person with a lot of value to offer the world, and I have the courage to support myself no matter what anyone else thinks.

​How about you? Do you give a damn about your health enough to go against the standard?

This series of blogs will be about the Primal Health principles that are working for me. This is principle number one. 

Primal Lifestyle Choice Number One for me is to eat plants and animals without pesticides or chemicals.

As with any information you receive from anyone, it is only information. Use your intuition and discernment as to if it works for you. It may not. We are all an experiment of one since we feed ourselves uniquely - the food we eat, the thoughts we think, the lifestyle habits we have, the stress that presents itself - all these thinks influence how we feel. Each of us individually can determine our road to best health.

Most importantly, I have made a commitment to support myself and to eat plants and animals without pesticides or chemicals. This has been no easy choice. Yet, as a Highly Sensitive person, food affects me more deeply, just like other energy can. To take care of myself, I have made big adjustments to my lifestyle and I am living a lifestyle that seems odd to the typical American.

Here are some of the things I do to accomplish this:

1. I shop at our local farmer's market all year long, rain or shine. I have gotten to know the farmers - from the meat vendors, speciality products, to the vegetable and fruit vendors.  Here's what I do:
   1. I buy grass-fed, purely processed meat from farms that I know love and care for their animals through their lives. This includes longhorn beef (low in saturated fat), chicken, lamb, turkey, and pork. 
   2. I know what's been done to the fruits and vegetables I buy. They aren't grown in chemical fertilizers, sprayed with pesticides, or coated in wax. I chose organically certified produce 99% of the time. If I can't find it, I will ask the other non-organic vendors about how they care for their fruits and vegetables. Most often they have not paid the fee to be certified organic so they can't say they are, but they are. Or they are transitioning to organic, which is a 3 year process in California.
   3. Not only have I gotten the freshest local food possible (outside of our struggling garden!), I have made good friends (which is also part of my Primal plan.)
   4. I have learned about what an organic, free-range farmer deals with to provide us with this premium food. They are, in general, hard workers on a mission to bring good food to others. I admire their tenacity and stamina.
2. If I shop at a grocery store, it's Whole Foods. They are the best natural grocer I have found.
   1. They have a welfare rating system for their meat so I have an idea of the lifestyle of the animals.
   2. They list how local the products are.
   3. They work with local farmers and producers to bring products to the store.
   4. They have "farmed" salmon, which actually live inside netting on the edge of the ocean in a small population (compared to conventional farms.) They are with other species of fish and ocean life throughout their lives. 
   5. They do their best to make sure the food they sell is cared for and provided without harmful toxins, pesticides, and chemicals. 
3. I rarely eat grains; I get my carbs from fruits and vegetables.
   1. Grains - such as bread, pasta, oatmeal, rice, etc. - aren't an essential ingredient for our diets, and they contribute to weight gain.
   2. The standard US diet recommends 250 grams of carbs a day. This amount puts weight on people.
   3. To lose weight, stay between 50 -100 grams of carbs from our fruits and vegetables. To maintain weight - 100 - 150 grams. To put on weight, do 150 grams and above.

Next week look for Primal Lifestyle Choice Number Two - Take a Positive Approach.

Most of my life I have had a focus on health. That's why many of the people I know consider me to be a "health nut." Although that term often comes across as a negative, it's really a positive.

Since I am a highly sensitive person, food has affected me deeply my whole life. So if I ate that sugary cookie, I would have heart skips and a jittery feeling. When I drank that cup of coffee, my heart would be pounding and I couldn't sit still - for hours. 

Besides all the immediate feedback that my body gives me, I have also had insidious weight gain. It has creeped on over the years - besides the years when I had children where it came on rather quickly and was not so easy to lose afterwards. 

With all my work on health, I have not been able to figure out how to be my right-sized body and feel satiated. The Standard American Diet, or SAD as it is referred to in many health circles, does not work for me. I put on weight. Even when I found elimination diets to achieve a good weight where I felt strong and sexy, I still craved - something. So I would invariably go back to the SAD again, experiencing that insidious weight gain. 

Since I'm a life-long learner, the Universe introduced me to a Hay House health coach, the 21st Century Medicine Woman, in 2014, and I went along a journey to discover things I never knew about my health. I got my genetic testing done through 23andme, ran the reports through livewello, and worked with my coach on supporting my body with that information, as well as taking a positive approach.  I also worked with Morley Robbins to get a Hair Test Mineral Assay (HTMA) and define my personal protocol to balance my system. 

In 2017, I discovered the Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson, a healthy lifestyle based on some different principles. Actually I had purchased the book in 2009 after Brad Kearns came to talk about it to our local cycling team. I dusted it off the bookshelf and read it in 2017.

So I gave this lifestyle a whirl. And then I certified as a coach using these principles. I have served as a Mentor on the 21-day Challenge for over a year. And it has been an amazing journey towards a renewed health for me. So I've gone from a "health nut," to a "health advocate."

These are the principles I now apply to my life that have me feeling the best. 

1. Eat plants and animals without pesticides or chemicals
2. Take a positive approach to life
3. Move as much as you can each day
4. Lift heavy things a couple of times a week
5. Sprint once a week to 10 days
6. Sleep as much as you can
7. Take a playful attitude towards life
8. Sun without sunscreen for 10 minutes a day, longer if you don't burn
9. Supplement your foods with what's missing from it 
10. Use your intuition to guide your choices
11. Cultivate close friendships - your tribe
12. Practice consistent and loving self-care

When you are eating the right foods for your body, moving in ways to keep you feeling your best, and supporting yourself emotionally and spiritually, you will be at a good weight for yourself.

​I'll be talking about these principles in the next series of blogs so keep an eye out for them. Enjoy the journey!

When we are not getting what we want in life, there is only one thing to do. Change ourselves. And that usually starts with changing our thinking, one thought at a time. This simple habit can empower you to create a life that you celebrate and cherish. 

At least I wasn't.

Let me explain.

Here is a picture of a meal I had about 7 years ago. I found it when Facebook popped up with one of those "remember when" posts. I had dinner with my 13 year old daughter and this was on my plate, or bowl I should say.

It's a little blurry because of the candlelight, which was a nice touch. I love candles, so that's a good thing.

The small plates, a good thing. That was for a protein on the way.

The glass of red wine for me, and not my daughter, that's a good thing too.

The salad of mixed greens - that is organic and triple washed, so that's a good choice. Greens soak up pesticides and chemicals easily, so it's important to get them clean and organic. Check out the EWG's 2018 Shopper's Guide to Pesticides in Produce™ for up-to-date information.

The organic cauliflower and the organic slicer tomatoes are good choices too - sort of - I'll explain more below. 

Let's take a look at the bottle of salad dressing on it's head. That's organic too. However, this salad dressing contains the following ingredients according to their website:

Organic Soybean Oil, Water, Organic Distilled Vinegar, Organic Buttermilk, Organic Whole Eggs, Salt, Organic Garlic Puree, Contains 2% Or Less Of: Organic Cane Sugar, Organic Garlic*, Organic Onion*, Organic Parsley*, Organic Gum Acacia, Xanthan Gum, Mixed Tocopherols For Freshness, Organic Sunflower Oil. 
*Dried.   Contains: Milk, Egg.  Kosher

This isn't so healthy. The organic soybean oil is non-GMO (genetically modified organism); most  soybean products today are not - so it's good that this one is.  If a product is certified organic, it's not GMO. Whew. Yet soybean oil, even organic, is considered a PUFA oil, which is chemically unstable and prone to oxidation. If you want to really dive deep into this, check out Mark's Daily Apple. He's the dude that trained and certified me as a Primal Health Coach, and he knows a ton about PUFAs.

If you're getting aches and pains every morning, like I was, and thinking it's that you're getting older, like we all are, it may very well be that the PUFA oils are creating stress in your body, like what happened to me. So PUFA oils - canola, corn, soybean, refined coconut, and almost all nut and seed oils - are off of my grocery shopping list these days. For a deep dive into oils, Mark has done a fabulous job.

As i've wrestled with some autoimmune achiness, swelling, and pain this year, I have made some big changes. I have begun an Autoimmune Protocol to eliminate possible offenders. This is a rigorous protocol and it is helping me tremendously to get the irritations out of my foods and life. 

When I look at my "healthy" meal based on this new knowledge about foods that can trigger an autoimmune response, here is how it stacks up.

1. The tomatoes are nightshades, so they are avoided; they can ignite the immune system - a no-no for anyone with an autoimmune issue. Upon reintroduction in my diet, I noticed my gut doesn't care for them.
2. The salad dressing is a no for the soybean oil, xanthan gum, mixed tocopherols for freshness (because I don't know what they are), and sunflower oil. I'm having most of my vegetables lightly steamed now, as it's better for my digestion. If I use any oil, it's avocado oil, lard, bacon grease, cultured ghee, or coconut oil for cooking, and olive oil spritzed on the salad.
3. Any red wine I have is low carb or energy-cleared before drinking.
4. I am using my intuition to check in with my body. I have slowed down - I sit when I eat and don't eat on the run - so that I can pay attention to how my body feels about what I am eating. And I sit to rest and digest after a meal. This new practice is the single most important thing that contributes to my health. My intuition knows what works for me and what doesn't. I have to take the time to tune into it, and respond to this powerful feedback.

Especially for Highly Sensitive People: Since we highly sensitives feel more, see more, and intuit more, our reaction to foods is strong too. So we really need to make sure we're tuning into our bodies and creating the health that we want. We need to honor this feedback and make it a priority to give ourselves foods, thoughts, and movements that support us well. 

I'm sure I'm not perfect yet (as if I ever will be!). There are days I have symptoms and I have no idea where they came from. But I'm continuing to learn and grow, and I feel healthier the older I get. I plan to live long, stay healthy, and drop dead without disease. 

Care to join me?

If you want to know how our human origins can be used towards overall health and well being today, check out this video. 

Play.

That's right. Play each day!

What is play exactly. 

A Google search defined it as:
verb
1. engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.
"The children were playing outside" synonyms: amuse oneself, entertain oneself, enjoy oneself, have fun;
2. take part in (a sport). "I play softball and tennis" synonyms: take part in, participate in, be involved in, compete in, do "I used to play hockey"

noun
1. activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation, especially by children. "a child at play may use a stick as an airplane" synonyms: amusement, entertainment, relaxation, recreation, diversion, distraction, leisure;
2. the conducting of an athletic match or contest.

Yet that's not the play I'm talking about. 

We, as a culture, often think that play is going out for a few drinks with friends. Or attending a large party event. Going to a movie perhaps. Or shopping, that can be a form of play.

I'm talking about the kind of play that rejuvenates the soul and makes life less serious. I don't think we, as a culture, play in this way, enough. Why do we need to be children to play like a child?

To me, play is a spontaneous event, a playful nature in what you're doing. It involves a variety of physical movement and mental acuity that keeps our bodies strong and flexibly, and our minds working well. We stay young at heart. 

For example, children can play at a park structure endlessly. I remember following my children around the park structures. They climb up and down the structures. They walk across make-believe bridges. They toss the autumn leaves into a small stream running through the park, then run to follow it along it's path until it hits the pond. They scoop it out of the pond, run to the top of the stream, and do it again and agin. They scoop sand and create magic castles. They hid behind things and pop out to scare you. They throw things, splash in water, laugh out loud, and often have friends, or imaginary friends with them. Children don't have to think about how to play, they just play. They have an attitude of play throughout their days.

Why don't we play like children? 

The spontaneity of play gets us out of our heads, into our bodies and into the moment at hand. Play uses our whimsical and creative nature as we do whatever comes to mind. It's unstructured, free-flowing and relaxing. It provides functional movement - these are movements that use a variety of muscles and keep you fit throughout your life. They are movements you want to be able to do even when you reach the age of 104. Play helps with balance and stamina, and allows us to do all the tasks we want to do throughout our lives on this planet. Play feels joyful, and we want to laugh out loud! It's contemplative as well; as we create our moments, we are building pathways in our brains that nurture our souls. 

Obviously, children don't have the financial worries and responsibilities that we do as we grow into adults. So they spent their entire days learning through play.

As adults, I believe we have a couple of ways that we can play. 

1. In whatever we are doing, we can adopt an attitude of play. Find ways to make life fun. Even when we're sitting in a corporate meeting or taking emptying the garbage cans for a grocery store, we can find ways to make it fun. We need to adopt an attitude of playfulness, and see how to create each moment. 
2. We also need to take time to go outside and play, all year long. Being in nature and the elements is good for our souls, and the agility of our bodies. The hormetic stress (intermittent, mild stress) we get from exposing our bodies to heat, cold, wind, rain, sun, etc. stimulates or up-regulates our cells and molecular pathways to improve the capacity of our cells and organisms to withstand greater stress. So that if greater stress inadvertently comes along, our bodies can readily respond. Low levels of intermittent stress keep us fit.

Let's get out and play today. 

I am dedicating this blog to our beloved Louise L. Hay, whom I "met" in the late 1980's. She planted a seed in me that changed the direction of my life. 

Today is one year from her passing at the age of 90. She became a dear "bedside" friend when I started using her affirmations and meditations in the evening. I read her books and the books of other authors at Hay House Publishing, attended her "I Can Do It" events, and certified as a Heal Your Life Workshop Leader and Coach in San Diego in 2014. I met Louise Hay in person there; and I worked with the same health coach she used, Heather Dane, 21st Century Medicine Woman.  This work has changed my life in more way than I can mention in this blog. I have met a fabulous tribe on the forefront of new thinking and ways of living.  And as a sensitive and intuitive person, I have dedicated myself to an energy clearing practice through Jean Haner, which has been the icing on the cake in healing my life. 

So back to that seed. As I created my life in the San Francisco Bay Area in the late 1980's, I experienced various symptoms. Just coming out of graduate school and moving to the Bay Area to start a job as a buyer for a major household products company, I had my emotional work cut out for me. To fortify myself in this journey, I explored spiritual centers and activities. 

Searching for blog topics is never easy. Sometimes I have information spilling out of my mind that I can't wait to share. Other weeks, it's like the creative well dries up, and nothing is coming. This week is one of those weeks.

So I went to my Louise Hay affirmation calendar from last year. I save the calendars to use as note paper, and to send inside packages as love notes, so I always have plenty on hand.

I took a deep breath, pounded on the stack of affirmations in my hands to infuse my energy into them, and asked for the message I most needed to hear today. I closed my eyes and shuffled through the deck until I got to a page that felt right. I pulled it out of the glue binding.

This is what it said: 
"I am wiling to hold my own hand and work through any fears I may have."

I have spent many times in my life having to work through my fear and anxiety. In fact, in Chinese medicine, I came to the planet with a major challenge of anxiety. I have had lots of it from as early as I can remember. I even went so far to have panic attacks in my early 20's. It's been difficult, as you might well imagine, and I have learned so much in learning to hold my own hand to work through this anxiety.

Early on, I tried mainstream medical and took Xanax for several years while I was in my early 20's and combined it with in therapy. Therapy became an excellent tool for me to process and let off stress. Xanax - although it helped me through a rough spell, the withdrawals from that addictive drug were incredible.

Here's how it went. As I house sat some pets in a beautiful Bethesda, Maryland home, I noticed I had swollen glands near my throat. Other than that, I felt fine. Yet after a week of these painfully swollen glands, I knew I was wrestling an infection. My doctor confirmed it - I had strep throat. No fever. No sore throat. Just swollen glands. So he recommended antibiotics.

Since I am a physically sensitive empath, I hated combining prescriptions because I didn't like the side effects of one much less a combination. So I asked him if I could stop the Xanax. He said that he thought that would be fine. 

So I stopped. Suddenly. I thought nothing of it. Yet I went through several weeks of severe withdrawal symptoms like I had never experienced. The first night I felt so nauseous, I went to sleep before the sun went down.  This was highly unusual for me. The next week, I couldn't feel my legs. They felt numb. Walking on numb legs was interesting. As that resolved, I couldn't feel my arms and hands. I could move them and grab things, but I couldn't feel my actions. 

I trudged back to my doctor, who told me that I was experiencing the withdrawal from the drug. He said that I could start taking it again and taper. I had gone a few weeks off the drug, so he said I could also work through the symptoms without it. Up to me. So I decided to stay away from the drug. 

This was a wise choice for me to learn to manage my anxiety in healthier ways.

My anxiety work has not been in isolation. I have worked with others - therapists, wellness coaches, biofeedback professionals, energy workers, personal trainers - to learn how to develop a protocol for myself to keep my anxiety at a healthy level. 

MY PROTOCOL
Here is what I have learned to keep my anxiety in check. In essence, these are the ways I hold my own hand:

• Calming techniques I learned through biofeedback, including meditation, yoga, breathing, letting go, massage, and managing my mental chatter
• Taking supplements of GABA, nature's valium, and magnesium, a calming mineral that is an ambassador of our cells and regulates/calms our entire system
• Exercising with exertion regularly to release any stress
• Spending time with friends
• Being in nature - slowing life down
• Saying positive affirmations routinely
• Using supportive self-statements when I am experiencing high anxiety (For example, telling myself I am out of balance and asking myself what I need to do in the moment to feel more grounded and secure.)
• Eating foods that are grounding and healthy
• Receiving an energy clearing or giving one

 I pay attention when I feel anxious for my intuition has something to say. I am thankful that I have learned to listen to my anxiety and take care of it. It keeps me safe, centered, and balanced.

How do you hold your own hand?

I have done one thing in the last year that has had a tremendous impact on my health and wellness. This six-minute video will tell you what I did, and what you can do as well. Thank you for listening. Enjoy!

"Autoimmune."

This word entered my life this year. What a funny word! When I hear that word, I don’t get any image in my head of something. It's more like "What the heck is that?"

To put it simply, our body's autoimmune response is a system of protection. When a virus enters our body, that system goes to work to get rid of it and bring us back to healthy balance. However, if our immune system gets confused through poor nutrition and lifestyle choices, hidden infections, or stressful events/habits, that autoimmune system goes haywire, and starts trying to protect us from ourselves. We wind up with symptoms of aches and pains, sometimes debilitating us. The symptoms may come and go, and it can be hard to know what's happening.

Sometimes we think the symptoms are actually not symptoms. We wake up sore day after day and it clears up as the day goes on. Or we go to sleep and feel better the next morning. It's not easy to know when our immune system is going haywire - yet our body knows.

MY STORY.
I’m a part-time cashier at a U.S. nationwide natural grocery store. I had been working there six months before my mom passed away unexpectedly. Cashiering shifts are often 8 hours three times a week. They start at varying times, and can sometimes go for 5 to 6 hours.

The repetitive motion of scanning items down the belt and handing heavy items to customers started causing me pain. I would come home at the end of my shift, sit down to put my feet up and relax with my husband, and within an hour, my wrists would be painfully swollen, my hands and fingers would be hard to move, and my arms and shoulders would hurt to move them. I had never experienced debilitating symptoms like that before. It felt scary! The pain would often disturb a restful sleep, yet by the next day, I often felt better. 

As this continued to happen and worsen over a period of a couple months, I became more alarmed. What was happening to me? I continued to do my workouts when I could, going to the gym to do my push-ups, pull-ups, squats, planks and leg weights. The next thing I knew, I couldn't raise my biceps for a few days because I had injured myself after working all day and doing push-ups. I had been doing these exercises regularly before I took the job; I felt shocked and dismayed that I injured myself. I identified that I had symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis symptoms; I knew I could turn them off.

I needed to find a way to heal. I had a very good idea of what was happening based on my symptoms, so I chose not to go to a doctor to have them run tests and give me solutions I didn't want to do. Instead I tried a holistic approach to see how to better support my body - physically and emotionally.  I let my symptoms be my guide.

I've been addressing the symptoms from an emotional perspective; I know that the physical and emotional body are one. Our beliefs are enormous influencers in our health. According to Louise Hay's team, rheumatoid arthritis can manifest as a result of feeling victimized, a lack of love, chronic bitterness, resentment. Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon. I began to look how these attitudes might be tucked away deep inside of me. 

Physically, I know that mineral baths heal swelling and pain, so I started taking them. Unfortunately, the heat from the baths made my swelling worse. I used ice to quell the swelling as I didn't want to take anti-inflammatories; I didn't want to over-ride my natural anti-inflammatory system, and I didn't want to further stress my gut with these irritants. I also massaged my painful areas with Arnica cream and magnesium lotion.  These solutions helped quite a bit.

I know as a sensitive person I feel and sense energies more deeply, so that foods - a type of energy - can affect me deeply too. Leaky gut is always seen with autoimmune issues, so I had to work on healing my tummy.  I had gotten off-track with my healthy eating, consuming sugary treats and comfort foods with gluten. I had been consuming wine and coffee more often.  I began to work on cleaning up my nutrition.

I modified my cashiering work to eliminate the repetitive stress by picking up other duties in the store. 

As a Primal Health Coach; I had heard about The Autoimmune Protocol by Dr. Sarah Ballatyne. As I began exploring her research, I discovered the elimination diet. It's a very rigorous plan, eliminating all foods that are known to excite the immune system. 

So far, I've worked my way up to 95% compliant. The big hold-out for me has been letting go of my beloved coffee. And even with not finding perfection yet, I have learned a lot. 

There are 2 items I've given up completely that have reduced my symptoms significantly.

CASHEWS
As I perused the AIP book one evening, I came across this statement: 

Buried in Chapter 8 under a heading "A Case Against Mangoes," my intuitive brain honed in. I recalled how, as an east coast teenager, I missed a rare movie outing with friends because my eyes were swollen shut from poison ivy. For months now, I had been eating cashews with my organic grass-fed yogurt as a "healthy" snack on work breaks. I chose this snack, not only because it tastes good to me, but also because it's "fast." I realized it was time I slowed down with all eating, even snacks.

PUFA'S
Next I turned my attention to unhealthy Poly-Unsaturated Fatty Acid (PUFA) oils as they are highly inflammatory for the body.  Although I home-cook with healthy oils (unrefined olive, avocado and coconut oils), I hadn't been paying attention to hot bar and restaurant foods. As I eliminated the PUFA's, I discovered what I could eat became a lot more limited as so many places use these cheaper oils.  My body reacts like kindling for a fire when I ingest these PUFAs. 

Although I am still on my discovery journey, I have learned so much and experienced success. I am no longer having the debilitating pain and swelling, and I am back to doing my push-ups and pull-ups again. I can sit down with my husband after work and feel good.

Autoimmune issues are tough. They happen differently for each person, and it can be tricky to figure out what is over-exciting your body. Research also tells us that autoimmune spreads and gets worse if it's ignored.

Is the Autoimmune Protocol right for you? If yes, I can empower you to find that secret sauce to turn off those genes. We'll come up with a unique program to take you on your healing journey. 

Get into your kitchen. 

That's right! I'm not talking about running to the kitchen to binge-eat that bag of chips that you bought at a low point of energy on your way home from work. I'm talking about getting into the kitchen and whipping up whole food recipes loaded with nutrients and nutrition that don't have the fake foods from processing. Cutting fruits and vegetables to eat raw, or put into recipes. 

Many of the poor food choices available today are responsible for the burgeoning growth of disease in our culture. Of course, some of this trend may be because highly skilled medical teams are better at testing and diagnosing symptoms and diseases. We have more information than we've ever had before. 

Yet we have to wonder how we've gotten here in the first place. Why do we even need highly skilled medical teams so often, and why are we feeling so poorly most of our days? I'm not knocking the medical profession here. It's fabulous that the medical teams are there when we need them to jump in an help us with a symptom, or perhaps a medical emergency. I am challenging you to think about why you are allowing yourself to feel unwell. 

Our ancestors, and I'm talking way back to the Hunter-Gatherer days, would never have let themselves feel as weak as many of us do today.  They needed to survive the harsh elements of weather, food scarcity, and the predator population. They needed to build their homes and camps, search for water and food, raise their young and protect their elders. These activities required feel strong and having energy throughout each day.

They had a natural support system in nature. Soil was loaded in minerals and probiotics. Food came straight off the land in their area. Food varied by season, designed to give them the ingredients needed when they were needed.

Hunting meat and fish required physical skill and functional movement to make the catch, then they needed the strength and stamina to carry heavy animals back to share at camp.  They ate the whole animal - brain, heart, organs, etc., in reverence, and used every part of it for tools, clothing, shelter and more.

Picking fruit required searching, climbing, reaching, stooping and carrying. Occasionally they had to run for their lives (literally) or chase an animal at high speeds for food. The Hunter-Gatherer days were loaded with a variety of movement.  The activities kept them functionally fit and their brains healthy and thriving.

Fast forward to today, and we can farm food like never before. Many of us eat way too much food too often. We don't have to do burn a calorie to get it, just drive to the local eatery and pick up a bag of yummy tasting ingredients. 

We work out at the gym for an hour, if we work out at all, and we consider ourselves to be in shape. We live with such convenience that it almost seems like we've lost our way. Yet, these changes have allowed humans to thrive and procreate in ways that would've amazed our ancestors. 

I think we've gone too far off the grid - the natural grid. 

And one way to take a step back towards our natural support system that is still there, and we once used, is to get into our kitchen.

First, go to your local farmer's market, food coop, or natural grocer. Pick out fresh, local ingredients (ask the produce partner if you need help knowing how to tell what's fresh.) Stay away from the boxed and frozen items (they aren't at the Farmer's Markets for a reason!) Become unprocessed. Start cooking from scratch. 

Play. Try new vegetables and proteins. The better quality the ingredients, the better tasting the result.  Invite members of your tribe over to prepare food with you. Put together recipes and see how you can create healthy, good tasting foods.

Eat slowly. Rest to digest. Listen to your body after you eat to see how you feel. Does this food work for you? Make it an adventure to learn how to cook in the kitchen. 

We are lucky today that we only have to go to our kitchens with purchased foods to find our meals.  So let's be smart about it. Let's choose foods that provide nutrition to our bodies as well as satisfy our taste buds. It's really fairly easy for us to do that compared to our ancestors.

If our Hunter-Gatherer ancestors looked in on us now, what would they think? They'd certainly want to be a part of our luxury living and play if they were still on the planet.  ​

Let’s talk about something. Symptoms. 

What are symptoms?

Merriam-Webster defines them as:
a : subjective evidence of disease or physical disturbance; broadly : something that indicates the presence of bodily disorder
b : an evident reaction by a plant to a pathogen
2 a : something that indicates the existence of something else symptoms of an inner turmoil
b : a slight indication

I think so many of us think that symptoms must be serious - like a major disturbance that says "Hello, this is really a problem. Look here..."

Yet, let's considering something. The quieter a symptom, the kind you can notice early on, way before something becomes a disorder, is where your true power lies. It's your body's feedback. Listening to early feedback gives us a greater opportunity to turn things around and heal before a major event occurs. 

The daily aches, pains and discomforts may feel normal and you shrug them off, but you shouldn't. These constant, low level symptoms are not normal as most of us consider them to be.  And that goes for people of any age. Even as we age, symptoms are providing feedback and it's important, the older we become, to respond to this feedback quicker and with vigor. We don't heal as quickly as we age. 

Sure, from time to time we may wake up with an ache or pain that we don't know where it came from, but that shouldn’t be happening day after day. And when it does happen, what information are we not receiving?

Symptoms are aches and pains that come in a variety of ways which may creep up on us over time and sneak into our lifestyles. We:

• don't enough energy
• can't get a good night's sleep
• binge eat
• feel unmotivated
• have frequent tummy-aches
• experience diarrhea or constipation
• feel hurt often
• start crying for no apparent reason, or get angry at anything
• feel like we worked out at the gym too long when we haven't been to the gym for a month
• experience gas, bloating, or belching.

When we are completely in line with what our bodies needs through our supportive lifestyles, then we:

• feel joyful and playful
• have a lot of energy
• experience a good moods
• look forward to each new day
• physically feel like we're in our right-sized body
• ave the energy and ability to do a variety of functional movements -- aerobic, strength, bending, stooping, climbing, lifting, and chasing.

We've got to start realizing that if we’re putting up with discomfort, THEY ARE SYMPTOMS. If we're not centered in our joy each day, something is off that we need to pay attention to.  We need to be curious about the symptom, and ask ourselves what it means. Maybe it's simple, like we shouldn't have that morning coffee (that may not feel so simple to some - it doesn't to me!) so that we can keep that tummy-ache away. Perhaps we need to get out and move more so we don't feel stiff. Or we may need to address a living situation, a relationship, a work situation or something else.  Maybe we're not eating healthy enough, or often enough, or drinking the wrong kinds of beverages. You may not be okay with yourself, who you are at your very core. 

If we listen to our bodies and minds carefully, we will get the answers we need. We have to spend time listening to ourselves, and asking what we need, just like we would our partner, spouse, or child. Love is paying attention to someone. Loving yourself is paying attention to yourself.

We’ve also got to get over the idea that there is a “quick fix“ for everything. It often takes a commitment to really look at how we’re doing things, and to change the way were doing them. This is a muscle that we need to find, develop and strengthen, and over time, it will become second nature.

It’s often really hard to strengthen this muscle on our own if we have gotten out of shape by not listening to our bodies and thoughts. As a friend of mine says, we are all in our own fish bowl of water, and we can’t see our environment because we are in it. We need objectivity.

It’s really helpful to work with someone who could help you on a day-to-day basis, Like a wellness coach or therapist who can help you understand the cloudiness of your water. 

If you answered YES! to this, then you are among millions of people that are experiencing unwell bodies. Aches and pains are not "getting old," as I hear so often. Sure, there may be some extra care needed - like an older automobile - as we age, but we shouldn't struggle to get around. We should not be waking up every day with soreness.

THE ANCESTORS
Take my Great, Great Grandfather Padarev in Predgrad, Slovenia. By some accounts, he lived to 105 and his wife to 103. I don't know specifically if they had aches and pains; surely they needed to attend to self-care as they aged. I do know that they stayed active throughout their lives, climbing trees to gather firewood for heat, filling the attics in their home with hay to feed their cattle, taking care of their property and farm, and picking fruit from their front yard trees. These are the kinds of activities that we are born to -- and meant to -- do. So if they did have aches, it wasn't enough to prevent them from doing what they needed to do.

So why are so many of us feeling limited in our abilities due to our aches and pains?

I have one word for you - PUFAs.

WHAT THE HECK ARE PUFA?
PUFAs are Poly-Unsaturated Fatty Acid Oils. These oils are refined, which oxidizes the oil, making it particularly destructive to our endocrine systems, promoting symptoms like poor fat metabolism, diminished energy, sluggish thyroid, insulin resistance, obesity, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, immune problems, arthritis and other inflammatory conditions. That is quite a list!

After training to be a Primal Health Coach, I finally honed in on these oils as the source of my aches and pains.

MY STORY
I'm an active person. I walk, sprint, hike, bike, do yoga, do push-ups and pull-ups, practice slack lining, jog, do weights and I am on my feet a lot. When I work, I average 20,000 steps a day - about 10 Miles.

​I think of these activities as today's version of what my Great Great Grandparents did - although I wish I could get our fruit trees to be as plentiful. I eat close to the land, visiting my Farmer's Market every week. I've made friends with the farmer's and know how they grow and process their wares. I read labels. I shop organically. If you ask my young adult children, they will tell you that all they heard about was - nutrition - until they went crazy. It even prompted one of them to go to the restaurants and ask for a gluten menu!

So you'd think that I'd feel great, right? And I do feel very good for my age. I'm clued into my body. I originally thought, in my late 40's, that my aches and pains were from exercising. Until I went on a nutrition-oriented eating 12-step plan - Food Addicts Anonymous - and after 3 months, I no longer felt sore. This amazed me. I had been having chronic back pain, soaking in the jacuzzi, sauna, and stretching all the time. And cleaning up my food did the most. It totally surprised me that my aches and pains WERE A SYMPTOM when all along, I thought they were a by-product of working out.

ATHLETES
We active people have more reason than ever to clean up our food plan. Our overall health is primarily dependent on the genes we turn on or off (the latest epigenetic research shows we can indeed turn them off). When we sprint or lift weights, the biochemical process from that activity turns on certain genes to repair and strengthen our exercised muscles. Good right? Of course.

However, if we do too much exercise, other genes go into excess production and we have prolonged inflammation and slowed recovery. An autoimmune disease is often a genetic over-reaction, much like after too much of a workout, that causes the same kind of inflammation. Our bodies cannot distinguish between too much of a workout and eating something that makes us sore.

We athletes can turn on too much inflammation simply by our healthy lifestyles. Since we are trying to live a healthy, active and balanced life, including eating healthy foods, why is this happening?

GET A GRIP - CHANGE YOUR THINKING
Besides getting a grip on that pull-up bar at the gym, we also need to have a grip on our own personalized body and what the offenses are. We are all an experiment of one. We eat different foods, have different genes, do different workouts, think different thoughts, experience different stresses and traumas. How could there possibly be one diet, or one lifestyle, that fits each of us. There isn't, so now you can breathe a sigh of relief.

Except, now what do we do?

First of all, we have to change our mindset.

1. Waking up achy and sore every morning is not normal aging.
2. Exercise should not be so chronic or intense that it is turning on this genetic over-reaction.
3. Something we are putting in our bodies is causing a systemic, chronic inflammation that can be fixed.

CHANGE THE FISH WATER
I have found that I have autoimmune challenges in my genes. My Mom died of ulcerative colitis at the age of 88. My Dad died of heart disease and arthritis at the age of 61. They both did a lot right. Yet they had a lifestyle which ultimately did not nurture their bodies. Both of them experienced aches and pains for years before they died.

My dad regularly went to doctors, got tests, and religiously took his prescriptions. My Mom did the same. It turns out in my opinion that doctors are fabulous and brilliant at diagnosing disease, prescribing medicine to reduce symptoms, and providing surgery when needed. They save lives every day.

Eating has gotten complicated. That blueberry bagel my mom started eating in the 1940s for breakfast deteriorated in quality over the years. The grain became less whole, the wheat it was made from got homogenized (no weeds adding nutritional value), and the wheat got sprayed with chemicals to increase the drying process. All these events contribute to our body's stress through inflammation.

So what needs to be done? We need to find people to support us in our daily care. Since we are in our own fish water (as one of my dear teacher's calls it!) and can't be objective about ourselves, we need to have others help us to take a look at ourselves and let us know how to clean our fish water. They need to help us determine what is muddying the waters of our health.

DOWN WITH PUFA OILS
As much as I thought I was healthy and practicing good ways of life, I realized that I had these annoying little aches and pains. It's like they were saying to me - listen, look at what you're doing, something is not right here, hello! Are you listening?

Now I"m listening. I realized that the PUFA oils are significantly contributing to my aches and pains. I'm on an Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) - a food elimination diet to help me see what's causing my inflammation. And even though it feels very difficult, I am committed to the effort. I am committed to turning off my genes expression of an autoimmune disease.

I have found a huge success by eliminating the PUFA oils. That means canola oil, olive oil, sunflower oil, corn oil, coconut oil and anything else that's refined.

It's not easy. I find them at the hot bar at work. They are in the olive bar. They are in canned foods. They are often tossed on packaged items. They are in salad dressings. And let's not get started on restaurants! Most restaurants use them to cook meat, fish, and sauté vegetables.

I have one challenge -- eliminate the PUFA oils. It could be life-saving.

If you need help, let me know.

When you open your eyes in the morning, do you want to get your day going with vigor and excitement? Are you joyful about what you’re going to do? Or are you cursing the fact that you have to get up? Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep last night, or you’re going to a job where you can’t stand that boss.

​It’s important for us to feel excitement about our day. When we feel excitement and joy, we are aligned with our spirit and our purpose in life. When we don't, we are out of alignment with our higher good.

So what do you need to do, today, to bring excitement and joy into your life? The kind of joy that, when you wake up in the morning, you’re looking forward to what you’re about to do.

Today I am taking time out to be at the beach - Stinson Beach, California. I love the beach! I love the warmth of the sun, the sound of the ocean waves, and the feel of the warm sand on my feet. I even love the beach in the winter for it's magnificent nature. 

VITAMIN D
Lately I've begun to realize the health benefits of being outside in nature. The sun provides us with vitamin D - something most of us are deficient because we don’t get outside enough! Just 10 minutes of sun on your skin a day, without sunscreen, can provide you with 10,000 international units of vitamin D. This is such an easy way to supplement our diets. I’m convinced that the sun has other nutritional benefits for our bodies that are absorbed through the skin, that we just aren’t aware of yet.  There is talk in the alternative medical community that lack of Vitamin D can contribute to cancer.  As always, it's about balance.
​
Another health benefit of being at the beach is that it is loaded with minerals! Our primal ancestors used to get their minerals from the soil. They ate off the land, didn’t have soap or antibacterial agents to wash their hands and kill the organisms in the soil. These organisms were pre- and probiotics, so their guts stayed healthy with beneficial bacteria that most of us do not have. They also didn't use antibiotics which kills bad AND GOOD bacteria.

So being at the ocean, walking in the sea salt water, and playing in the sand, gives us minerals from the environment that we're in so desperate need of.

ENTRAINMENT
When we are around an energy, we entrain to that energy. There’s plenty of research talking about how that happens. You can find YouTube videos about entrainment.  In this one, several metronomes are started at varying speeds, and they eventually entrain to the same frequency.

Nature works for us in this way. We as humans are a part of nature. When we’re in nature, like at the ocean, our systems will slow down and and entrain to the energy around us. This energy more closely matches our circadian rhythms than the technology and machinery that most of us are around every day.

If you’re feeling drained, more than likely you are feeling stressed from the mismatching technology energy around you.

As a sensitive person, going to the beach by myself has been highly therapeutic! I get away from having to deal with the energy of other people, and can do what I want, when I want, without worrying about someone else. It feels like I'm feeding my soul. 

When was the last time you went out in nature to rejuvenate yourself?

​As Empaths, people who feel more, intuit more and see more naturally, we can take on energy around us without realizing it. Very few of us have had role models to help us with this, so when we're walking through the energy of everyday events, we often absorb it. On top of absorbing it, many of us may have genes that cause our bodies to process slowly, so it can build until we feel well. 

Let's take a peak at biology. Methylation is a chemical process that occurs in our cells that is vital to keep our bodies working properly. It is one of our body’s most important chemical processes. When we have genetics that struggle with methylation and process more slowly, I believe we can be prone to hold onto energy longer, and we may experience it as anxiety, depression, or overwhelm. We don't know how to, or we're not taking the time to, detox and release the stresses of each day. When the next day rolls around, guess what? We are still dealing with what happened yesterday. We can see how this will add up to ill health over time.

So one very important thing we can do to stay balanced is to be mindful of the energy around us, and to release it everyday.

BECOME MINDFUL
We can start by being mindful of our habits.

1. Do we pay attention to what we say to ourselves - what thoughts we feed ourselves?
2. Are we taking a positive approach?
3. Are we allowing our emotions to come and go, or are we creating stories around events that just happened, adding to the stress or event that just happened?
4. What kinds of foods are we eating - foods that clog and slow our bodies, or natural, whole food alternatives?
5. How are we moving throughout our days - are we?
6. Is our exercise relaxing, energizing, and fun?
7. Are we feeling accepted, loved, and supported by ourselves and our tribe?
8. Do we play?
9. How do we slow down - or do we?

ENERGY INCREASERS OR RELEASERS
What we do can either be energy increasers or releasers. We already know as Empaths, increasing energy in our systems can inadvertently be a no-brainer. So how are we releasing energy - which isn't as automatic? Releasing energy means anything that slows life down, which in turn slows our nervous system, and allows our bodies to return to balance.

I had a beautiful experience the other evening that is a Releaser. 

As I sat outside on a warm summer evening chatting with our kids and grandchild, the sun set. It took about 45 minutes between the sun disappearing over the horizon until total darkness with the sky lit up with twinkling stars.

It was amazing going barefoot in the backyard and playing with our grandchild. We did a little slack lining and checked on the garden. We told stories and laughed. It was fabulous having that sense of our tribe with us. 

As the light waned, the final flights of the birds took place. Our neighborhood owl began his cooing. And the local mocking bird started his night time calling. Stars and planets, one-by-one, decorated the evening sky.

I notice that I felt increasingly relaxed and tired. Which felt remarkable to me because I am typically a night owl.  Yet I know from my Primal health coaching that this event released and increased my melatonin, which naturally happens as the sun sets and prepares us for sleep. I wasn't bombarding my senses with screens from TVs, tablets,  or phones - which, by the way, have f.lux installed on them to match the time of day. And it felt so peaceful and calming.

So here's an easy challenge for you to stay balanced. Sit outside and enjoy the sunset with your tribe. In the US, we are in summer, so this can be easy to do. If you're in Australia and enjoying winter, sit in front of a fire with friends and enjoy the warm, red relaxing hues as you prepare for sleep.

It's a good beginning to releasing that day's stress.

Empaths often describe feeling fragile and weak as they can get zinged around by the every day energies of people and places. They can react easily to foods and beverages even though they believe they eat healthily. They are often sought out by others as they are good listeners and know how to create a good experience for others.  ​They can pick up on other's emotions and struggles, often thinking that the sensations they are feeling are theirs instead of realizing they are picking up information from the person across from them, in the next town or across the country. 

Since Empaths feel more, see more and intuit more, they can feel exhausted by the end of each day.

Empaths need a superstructure to stay grounded, peaceful, and balanced. That's why a Primal Health lifestyle is so important for Empaths.  It's a way of life based on our ancestors - that's why it's call Primal. It is grounded in selecting foods, activities, and movement that is perfect for our bodies, and is designed to keep our systems working optimally.

I believe our ancestors used intuition throughout each day without judgement or shame. In fact, their survival depended on it. They had to know where the danger lay. If they didn't sense that saber tooth tiger in the next field or valley and chose another path, they were in a sprint for their lives. If they chose the wrong plant to eat or consumed a sick animal, they could wind up dead. They didn't have doctors to run to or hospitals to save their lives. They had to rely on their gut instincts, their intuition, to keep them alive and strong.

Here are a few tips to get you started on the Primal journey, which will leave you feeling strong and nourished:
​

1. Get outside. Breathe in nature. This syncs your system, or entrains you, with nature which is calming and at a slower pace than most other aspects of life.
2. Eat whole foods. And really listen to what your body says about what you eat. Sugars, grains, caffeine, fake foods - they over-excite the body and confuse it. 
3. Slow life down. Minimize stress. Don't try to fit too many things into a day. Listen to what pace your body needs day-by-day and follow it. Some days you may be able to get 5,000 things done (or it feels that way), and other days you may get a couple done, then spend time playing and relaxing. 
4. Balance your food nutrition with minerals and supplements that keep you grounded and nourished. Magnesium is very calming and the general consensus in the U.S. health field is that most of us don't get enough magnesium and minerals because our farming soils have been depleted due to our farming practices. So add mineral drops to your water. Take mineral baths. Use magnesium lotions. Sprinkle Himalayan or Celtic sea salt while cooking and eating. Find creative, easy ways to put this in your routine.
5. Stay active to release the built up stress. Empaths notice more, so they have the tendency to feel more stress. And typically Empaths are slow oxidizers so we can be prone to fatigue, cravings, and low blood sugar. We may crave caffeine, sweets or carbohydrate rich foods to give us energy. Yet this is only a short term effect and will actually plummet our energy in an hour or two. Getting out for a brisk walk daily, playing disc golf, going for a jog, playing frisbee, sprinting, swimming, cycling and a host of other fun activities where you move is a much better way to detox stress and create energy. 
6. Un-isolate! Get out with friends and have some fun. Build a tribe that feels good and wholesome to you. 
7. Make yourself the priority. Most Empaths put themselves last all day, so make a conscious effort to put yourself first, and release any guilt associated with doing it. It's like putting our oxygen mask on first so that we can be there for others in a fulfilled and strong way.
8. Take time each day to be by yourself, in your own energy, so that you don't feel like you have to listen to, take care of, or sit in anyone else's energy. Empaths gain balance, strength and energy from regular and dependable alone time.

Have you amped up your self care until you're feeling strong? How?

It’s really important for Empaths to have a strong superstructure of self-care. It should be a system of many daily habits designed BY you just FOR you. The basic superstructure should be there, incorporated into your routine at an early age as possible, and updated as you go through life.

And when we take the time and commitment to feel strong and balanced, it pays off. We can walk through our lives, our families, our grocery stores and farmer's markets knowing we are strong. We stay balanced. We know how to be there for others, but, more importantly, we are there for ourselves first.

​I often hear it said that Empaths “absorb” other people moods, energy, and feelings. That statement, in itself, may be true - for SOME Empaths. But you don’t have too. You have a choice.

Empaths sense extra information from the people and places around them. That’s how we are wired. We don't’ have to try to do it - it just happens.

As children, this may have caused quite a problem for us. With our inability to discern information with our cognitive brains, which doesn’t fully develop until the ages of about 24 to 25, we may have felt sick, overwhelmed, and scared throughout our childhood. To top it off, most of us didn’t have parents or caretakers that helped us manage this energy when we felt it. So we ended up ‘absorbing’ the information by thinking it was ours, and not realizing that we were only noticing things around us.

So now that we’re adults, it’s time for us to make sure we are no longer absorbing the energy of people and places. We need to learn to discern what is, in fact, our energy, and what belongs to others.

I have had a great opportunity as a part-time cashier in a natural grocery store.  In my check-out lane, I have a constant flow of energy from the general public, as you can imagine. 

I have learned that I am a physical Empath, so I feel the energy that I notice in my body, often as a symptom of some kind. So a person may enter my lane to pay for groceries, and I suddenly feel nauseous. I used to get immediate anxiety because I thought that it was my symptom. I would then create a story around it - it must be something I ate, am I going to have to go home sick, what is wrong with me?

I often notice that I feel the energy of others when they are unaware of how they are feeling. When my daughter was in high school, a generally stressful time for most teens, she would plop in the car after school, and I would immediately feel a fuzzy head and loads of stress in the form of anxiety and overwhelm. I began to realize that my body was just interpreting her energy that way. 

As I’ve learned to discern energy, I now say to myself “oh, I am noticing that I feel nauseous suddenly. I must be picking up on the energy of this customer.” Typically the sensation dissipates when I say that, confirming to me that I am picking up on another person’s symptom. For me, this can come in the form a physical symptom, or an emotional symptom; I can feel a sudden sadness or anxiety I didn’t have before and I don’t have a situation that provoked it. 

Does that happen to you? In what ways?

No matter how you intuit energy as an Empath, there are some basic strategies that you can learn for yourself to feel grounded and healthy as you go through your day.

1. Ask yourself, “Is this mine?” particularly if it comes on suddenly when you enter a room or get a phone call from someone.
2. Treat the sensation as feedback or information. Avoid creating a personal scenario around the symptom that will have you thinking it’s yours. If it is yours, you will know soon enough.
3. Take a deep, slow belly breath, concentrating on the exhale. Repeat this a few times to rebalance your body.
4. Make sure you have a superstructure of care in place. 
5. Eat whole foods (proteins, vegetables and an occasional fruit). Processed foods contain a lot of fake ingredients that confuse our bodies and make it harder to stay grounded and feeling good.
6. Avoid grains and sugars in any form, as they are inflammatory and stimulate our bodies in ways that make it harder to stay grounded around energy.
7. Avoid caffeine and stimulants because they are just plain ungrounding!
8. Practice energy balancing techniques which fortify your energy and clear away energy you may have taken on as your own.
9. Exercise with exertion every day. The deeper breathing and movement will help you stay grounded and balanced, releasing any stress you happen to inadvertently absorb as your own.
10. Get plenty of rest and sleep. Without enough sleep, the chances of you staying grounded go way down.
11. Stay humorous. We may end up realizing we absorbed energy that wasn’t ours later than we had hoped. And we can take things oh so seriously. Try to have a little humor about being an Empath as that will keep us feeling more balanced.

​So let's BUST Mammoth Myth #3. WE ATTRACT NARCISSISTS.

What the heck is a narcissist? And why are we so good at attracting them?

Here are some definitions of narcissists and narcissism.

Dictionary.com: ”a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.”
UrbanDictionary.com: “A person with no soul. The only thing bigger than their inflated ego is the void that they demand others to fill.”
Merriam-Webster.com: "an individual showing symptoms of or suffering from narcissism:
a : an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance
b : a person who is overly concerned with his or her physical appearance"
Wikipedia: "Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water."

Just from reading these definitions, I get the impression of a really out-of-balance person. Like their cup must feel so empty that they have to fill it with self-centeredness and the pursuit of gratification. Like they are so concerned about how they look they can't function without doing something about it. I like the Green Narcissus - I can just see him falling  in love with his own reflection.

I like to think of narcissists like they have a severe toothache - everyday, all day.

When I most recently had a failing molar, it hurt like hell. Since I like to work with my body to give it what it needs, I worked on seeing if I could heal it without prescription drugs and a root canal. This took some time. I went through a week of severe pain, my jawline swollen and sore. I would’ve addressed it sooner, but I was traveling out of town for business. 

When I had that toothache, it was really hard for me to think of anything else. Even while I sat in my business meetings, which were informative, useful, and with fantastic colleagues, I felt that thing deeply! It kept me up at night, and my whole focus landed on healing that pain.

Take a narcissist. They are in pain. They are so much in pain that they can only think of themselves. And it’s not healthy or normal for a human to be so focused on themselves and the pursuit of themselves that they can’t empathize with others. Their pain is emotional, and it’s a huge toothache.

And get this, it’s not so easy to fix as my failing molar. That tooth took a morning appointment for a root canal, and some antibiotics, a clearing for adverse effects (that’s another blog!) and shots of kefir to keep my body balanced with taking antibiotics. And many supporting "I" messages.

We Empaths are wonderful, aren’t we? We listen carefully, feel the pain of others - often so deeply we can feel their symptoms in our bodies, and put our needs last. In fact, we have to work at our self care because it’s automatic for us to put ourselves last. 

Then we’re walking down the street somewhere and we run into a narcissist. They’re hurting. They need to feel important, to have others listen and tell them how important they are. They thrive on being put first. And here we come along!  It’s the perfect match.

So as they go through life doing the best that they can, they may attract Empaths. 

As an Empath, I have great compassion for narcissists. Don’t we all? We Empaths naturally have empathy, a characteristic lacking in narcissists.

And to heal, and I believe anyone can heal, narcissists need to come to terms with that deep pain, that hole in their soul. And many of them chose not to do it.

So how do we avoid that person as they walk down the street?

Here are some tips:

1. Ask yourself: How balanced am I if I am attracting narcissists? We attract our greatest learning into our closest relationships, so the work starts with you. The good news is that you can change yourself, and doing so will change your life.
2. Identify where you are off balance. I have found it helpful to work with therapists, counselors, and coaches to help me identify what needs healing. Consider hiring someone to help you.
3. Firm up your emotional boundaries. Especially If the narcissists in your life are parents, siblings, or other relatives, this becomes so important. And that’s probably why you chose this family - to have a fantastic learning experience (sometimes learning sucks until we get the lesson learned and the resulting bliss!) Working with a strongly out of balance family often means getting out of their physical space and having no contact until you heal so that you can regain your boundaries. 
4. Don’t go all in to any relationship all at once (and that includes sex!) When you meet someone, especially if you grew up with narcissists, your tendency will be to go right in and take care of them. It will feel natural, and you’ll be smacking yourself on the head going “How did I do this again?” We Empaths must work at knowing where our sensations/pain/symptoms stop and another person’s starts. We are in danger of becoming enmeshed easily. Keep those boundaries steadfast as you explore new relationships.
5. Love yourself no matter what. You are doing the best you can. If you find yourself in another narcissistic relationship, it’s more opportunity for learning. So don’t hate on yourself.
6. Observe the narcissist in an inquisitive way without judgement. Take a step back emotionally and understand how they put themselves first. How do they seek attention? How do they not care what others’ feel or want? Is there anyway that you can move in their direction of putting yourself first, caring more about yourself, and letting others have their own drama? 

By the way, Empaths are so selfless that we fear we may become too self-centered if we put ourselves first. In my experience, healthy, balanced Empaths know how to put themselves first, and care about themselves in loving ways! They don't become narcissistic. Instead, they have a personalized superstructure to make them enjoyable, loving people on the planet. 

Mammoth Myth B U S T E D ! Empaths attract narcissists only when they have emotional work to do! So let’s get to it!

Energy Vampires Drain our Energy as Empaths. That’s the common belief in the Empath community. I’m noticing this phrase, Energy Vampire, increase in use in the news, in books, and on social media.

Let’s take a look at what the definition of an Energy Vampire is.

Dictionary.com refers to an Energy Vampire as a noun meaning. “the electric power consumed by electronic appliances while they are switched off or in a standby mode; also called standby power, [ phantom load ] A very common energy vampire is a power adapter which has no power-off switch.”

I didn’t expect to find that definition when I looked up an Energy Empath. That doesn’t even refer to a person, but an appliance. So I looked further.

The definition by Urban Dictionary states: “A person who boosts his/her own energy by taking energy from others by means of an argument, belittlement, criticism or other one-sided conversation.”

This definition is what I believe most people using the term Energy Empath refer to.

I can understand where the term Energy Vampire comes from. It’s catchy, strong, and sums up the process of one sensitive person feeling drained by someone else in only 2 succinct words.

I do agree that people with certain attributes can feel draining to others, especially we Empaths who feel more deeply, see more details, and intuit more as we go through each day. This ability to do so much more can be draining in and of itself, even when we’re not with an Energy Vampire.

I don’t like the term Energy Vampire for a few reasons. It’s very negative. It’s blaming of others - that somehow they suck or steal energy from us without our permission - like an attack. And most of the advice is to run in the other direction from them, especially if you’re an Empath. That often doesn’t work because we wouldn’t even be around them if we truly had a choice. Often it’s a family member, relative, co-worker or another person in a position of authority or importance in our lives.

I’d like to refer to another that feels draining to us as an Energy Sponge. I believe they are Sponges because they challenge us to set better boundaries, communicate more clearly, and stand up for our sensitive selves. Without the strong effects of an Energy Sponge, many of us would not develop systems that keep us strong and balanced.

There are several types of Energy Sponges that I have encountered. I’ll share what I’ve noticed, and then we’ll look at learning opportunities for dealing with them.

• Non-stop talkers. You know those people that do all the talking and you can’t get a word in edgewise. Even when you do speak loudly over them, they will cut you off mid-sentence and go into what they need to say. Of course that can feel draining.

• Drama Seekers. These are the men and women that seem to over-react to everything. Something happens and they go down the worst possible path. Their teen is an hour late for curfew and they’re dying in a hospital. The stock market plummets a few hundred points and they won’t ever be able to retire. Listening to anyone with these kinds of worries and fears can be exhausting if we let it be.

• One-sided conversations. The Non-stop talkers and Drama Seekers are usually part of the one-sided conversation crowd. We are polite, empathic, caring Empaths will often let almost anyone else talk about himself or herself. It’s often a part of our nature. Yet if we don’t feel like we can be an interactive part of the conversation, we may spend the entire time feeling bad about the communication.

• Narcissists. The world revolves around the narcissist in that person’s mind. They think they are very important and want constant praise. How exhausting that can be.

These are just a few of the types of Energy Sponges in the world. And the reality is, being around them can become unpleasant. And if we let it go on, it can be exhausting and draining. These Energy Sponges are out of balance. Many of them have a hole in their soul that they are trying to cover up, fill, ignore or create drama around so they don’t have to deal with the agony of their condition. So they develop these crazy, hard to handle characteristics to keep others away and to distract themselves.

But here’s the thing. No one can change someone else. We may have to work with this person. We may chose to see her or him over the holidays because she or he is with others we want to spend time with. They may be a neighbor, colleague, or friend of our partner or spouse. We may want so badly to say this or show them that so that they will see what they’ll doing and want to change so that we’ll feel better. Yet most people won’t do that. People may change, but it’s because they want to when they see a need and a benefit.

Here’s the rub. We as Empaths are responsible for changing ourselves. If we are feeling drained by other people, no matter what label we attach to their personality, than we are out of balance. That is what we need to focus on energies on so that we don’t leave work, a party, or any outing feeling totally depleted and depressed. We need to get to a place where we can walk through the world and stay in tact and balanced no matter who we encounter.

​I’ve always lived by the rule that if I want someone else to change, I need to change myself. Because when I change, the person I am relating too must somehow change - even if it’s just to leave because being around the new me doesn't feel comfortable anymore.
​
So how can you become more balanced as an Empath so that you don’t feel drained when you are around unbalanced people?

1. Accept yourself and your sensitivities. If you know you won’t do well listening to a particular person for very long, set limits. Perhaps you go to say Hi and they start in on their latest drama or everything they’ve done for the last 6 months. You can’t get a word in edgewise. Notice what is stopping you for telling them how you feel. What inside of you is stopping you from moving on to someone more pleasant to talk to? Find a way to set a limit and move on, even if you interrupt them and say “It’s been nice to see you. I want to go over and chat with Jason now.” Your power is in the present moment, as Louise Hay would say.
2. Have compassion for them. They are hurting and most likely have no idea how hard they can be to socialize with. I often look at someone who is so out of touch as having a toothache. When we have a toothache, we are in so much pain it is really hard for us to truly listen to another. Many people have chronic “toothaches.” I can’t fix a toothache of theirs, but I can sure understand how hard that must be.
3. Realize it is not your problem to fix. End the conversation when you want to. And watch out for the guilt and self-judgments that arise. Forgive yourself for wanting to be nice to the point of self-sacrifice and draining your energy.
4. Speak your truth using I words. We learn in therapy that it’s important to use “I” when you’re discussing things with your spouse. It presents the information in a less charged way. Think about how to do this. “I’ll talk to you another time. I’m going to the bathroom. I’m going to chat with Jamie. Etc.
5. Learn from less sensitive friends. I have a close friend that will end a conversation abruptly and either leave or go talk to someone else. I use to feel that it was rude the way he ended conversations. Yet he is well liked and often the life of a party. So as an Empath, I realized that I judge myself if I don’t continue to listen to someone, even when I don’t want to. This friend has helped me to realize it’s okay to end things and walk away.
6. Have a strategy before you go. Just like you’d prepare appropriate foods for sensitivities before you go to a meal, be prepared with ways to handle difficult people. Look at these like tools you can use to accomplish what you want.

RESOURCES:
There are a couple of must-reads that I use for reference.

1. In Dr. Judith Orloff’s book, The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People, she presents many types of Protections Strategies and rebalancing tools that you can use. She’s a psychiatrist and an Empath that shares her learnings and practices of herself and patients. It’s a must read.
2. Another must read is Jean Haner’s Clear Home, Clear Heart: Learn to Clear the Energy of People & Places. Jean teaches you how a simple way to retrain your body and system so that it isn’t taking on the energy of people and places and remaining balanced. It’s based on Chinese Medicine that has been around for over 12,000 years.​

You are a powerful Empath with many choices. Your sensitivities increase your power because they increase your information. If we Empaths can get out of running from situations, avoiding Energy Sponges, and instead, approach people and place from a point of power and balance, we can walk through the world feel self-assured and content.

So let's BUST Mammoth Myth #2. ENERGY VAMPIRES ARE NOT OUT TO GET US.   They need our compassion, and we can practice staying balanced and centered while we are with them.
B U S T E D !